There has been a bit of a delay to me writing this post because I haven't known how to. Day 2 of the Primal Throwdown was probably the most emotional crossfit day I have ever had in my almost one year of doing this kind of thing. It broke me and challenged me and made me more proud than I have ever been but we'll get to that I guess.
Going into the day I was really happy to have made the Sunday workouts. I honestly had no expectation of making top 10 going into the weekend until after the second WOD on Saturday when I saw that it was a true possibility. I saw the twinkle though in the Southern Crossfit boys eyes as we left the stadium Saturday that what they had up their sleeves for Sunday would be no walk in the park.
Day two started bright and early again (and cold) at 7am with sign in and some stretching. My back was super tight from the deadlifts and was going to make it hard.
WOD 1
15-10-5
row for calories
toes to bar
chest to overhead 2x12kg KB
5 minute cut-off
5:21
5th place on the WOD
I didn't finish this one (and not many people overall actually did). The row felt really good, I felt strong and finished the 15 calorie row in about 45 seconds which was right where I wanted to be. I think I broke the t2b into 10-5 though I wasn't connecting them that well as my swing was a little off. The KB's was where I slowed way down, 2x12kg was extremely heavy and I just had to keep picking them back up and pushing through as best I could, minimizing rest.
I was in a pretty good spot for this WOD - my cheering section was quite close by and seeing their faces really pushed me harder, made me rest less and do as much work as I could knowing it was only 5 minutes of my life. I got through the round of 10 row and t2b and finished only 4 of the KB's when time ran out hence my score of 5:21 - 21 remaining reps after the cut-off. The first place girl in this workout still had 3 reps remaining as time expired so no one in my division finished - and this was just the start.
WOD 2
15 minute AMRAP
2x rope climb to 15'
7 ball toss - 12kg over 7'(?)
14 pull-ups
24
Tied for 6th place.
Going into this WOD I had never done a rope climb. Ever. I had spent the first few heats watching and learning and getting help on how to climb a rope. Knowing we had to start with the rope climbs was also quite daunting but going into it I was quite ready to give it a go. Worst case I'd spend 15 minutes trying to learn how to climb a rope.
I managed the first two okay though I struggled to come down under control. Kayla had the best and most truthful line of the day when she said "everyone told me how to get up the rope but no one told me how to come down". True! Coming down was also quite hard when your forearms were pumped as was the case with me. I had made it through the first two and was off to the bar.
The ball toss was basically a wall ball using a slam ball instead and getting it over the pull-up bar - I think the pull-up bar was about 7' high as I had to use a box to get up to it rather than just jumping to it. These were hard. If the slam ball hit the bar it was a no rep and you had to hit full squat depth on the way down. Thankfully as intermediates we only had to do 7 reps. Once these were done it was on to pull-ups and although the bars were quite good and much easier to hang on to than the ones at our box I still only did sets of two. My body was getting fatigued. Every time I hit the ground though I got right back up as quick as I could and pushed through.
Then... then it was back to the rope. This is the part I struggle to write. I got to the top, one rep down and then got my first warning on not coming down under full control which I was struggling with - I was trying to come down slowly but my forearms were not cooperating. They were pumped. I kept trying. Next attempt I got to 12' and as I was moving my feet my grip went and down I came, one full unexpected slide with just my hands on the rope, a hard landing on the balls of my feet. It scared me and the emotions came. The tears slowly started then. There has have been WODs in the past that have almost made me cry but this was the first time then tears came and I couldn't stop them.
I knew I had more than half the time remaining and that I had to try the climb again. At this point I was on my hands and knees, vision blurred through the tears, trying to stretch out my forearms. I knew I was going to give it another go but I was also terrified. There is something not quite sane about attempting to climb up to 15' knowing that at any time your body might physically give out on you mid air. I started again...
Again, I hit the 12' mark before my grip went and I slid down by my hands, landing hard on the ground but thankfully upright. It was frustrating to get so close and still fall. It was terrifying to be that high and then suddenly be falling through the air. It was disappointing to know that there were so many faces right in front of my supporting me and cheering me on and yet I couldn't get to the top. It was also hard knowing that I could do it but my body was just letting me down.
I knew I needed a lot of rest if I had any chance of completing the rep on my next try, time was ticking down and no matter how many times I uttered the words "I can't" I knew I wasn't going to quit. I always knew I'd give it one more go but that it would most definitely take everything I had. Once again I was on my hands and knees, uncontrollable tears flooding my eyes. Coach Kirst was amazing, crouched right down there with me. Equal parts pushing and supportive in just the right balance. I remember her telling me how proud she was of me and in that moment that meant the world to me. She also kept telling me to stop saying "I can't"... (my "I can't's" were from fear not from any lack of confidence in myself as I'd already proven I could 3 times). I remember looking at my hands for damage and realizing that through two falls it was just one major rope burn on my middle finger, skin torn and bunched up and at this point I realized it was bugging me and ripped the skin away and tossed it on the floor (yes, I'm classy). I recall Kirst telling me it was nothing and that I could stop the bleeding after the WOD (which was quite funny to me and also the truth). I remember telling her that I'd give it another go with 1 minute remaining as I continued to massage and stretch and try and get my forearms to stop cramping. I heard voices all around me on how to stretch and what to do but it was Kirst I was focused on, having her there in that moment made such a difference. With about 1:30 remaining I got back to my feet and stared at the rope. I remember thinking of R and how he did this all the time and "if he could only see me know" and I got ready to go again, giving it everything I had... and I did. I started up the rope and could sense the support behind me, the staring eyes and the ticking of the clock. The bated breath... and once again I fell from 12' BUT... I gave it a go and I can say I gave it everything in that moment. I collapsed on the floor and was overcome by emotion at this point, I couldn't tell you why I was crying but it wouldn't stop. Kirst told me to stand up and be proud and I did while also trying to hide my face from the camera man who thought it was an appropriate time for a close-up.
Brenda and Glen were there with amazing hugs which were exactly what I needed as the tears continued to fall. Then they so gently and kindly guided me in the direction of the medic to get my hand fixed up. The tears eventually died down and as Kathy later massaged my forearms I could reflect on how proud I was of myself. I had done something I had never done before, I faced the fear of falling and kept trying even after failing over and over. And now, as I type this I actually don't want to call them failures because I still made it to 12' each time I tried. Failing would have been never leaving the ground and even through the fear and fatigue I didn't quit. That was my biggest moment to date as a crossfitter. This, crossfit, is more than just some physical activity we put ourselves through - it's heart and passion and dedication and drive. It's as much mental as it is physical.
I tried to thank Kirst after for being such an amazing coach especially in that moment but I'm not sure words could ever do justice to what those 15 minutes meant. Thank you!
WOD 3
5-10-15
ring dips
16kg KB swing
10 minute cut-off
11:30
Tied for 8th
I spent 10 minutes trying to do ring dips. Mostly I was doing isometric ring dips where I'd get almost to the bottom and then drop to the ground without being able to even try to push myself back up. It was hard and a good mental battle but at least it wasn't scary on top of it all. I could definitely feel the fatigue in my body at this point, all the workouts were definitely adding up. I think on a normal day when I am not tired I could probably manage at least one rep but today wasn't my day for it. Once again though I kept trying. Shalon was judging me and was so supportive and offering all kinds of great advice and while it didn't help me in the moment it will most definitely be on my mind as I work on this weakness in the future.
WOD 4
5 minute AMRAP
Snatch/Burpee Ladder
1 snatch* (30kg)
1 burpee (jump over bar)
2 snatch
2 burpee
...
30 (completed the round of 5)
*could squat snatch or power snatch but if power snatch then still had to do an OHS
At this point I was so tired that I wasn't trusting my squat snatch (though in retrospect I probably should have given it a go). I power snatched and OHS for each rep which took more time to complete. I didn't realize until the first rep just how sore and tired my quads were. They were basically shaking for every rep. We also had 20kg bars with silver 2.5kg weights on either side which meant we couldn't drop the bars so had full range of motion to the ground as well (or below the knees if linking reps). As Jack pointed out afterwards my feet were going really wide at times which was a function of bad form when I was fatigued and mentally not wanting to miss a rep because of the wasted energy of that. I did get no-repped on one of my snatches where I didn't drop under it at all but rather pushed it out which was a fair call and made me ensure I was at least dropping a bit to get it overhead. I was really happy with this one as we did a WOD last week quite similar to this and I love to snatch. I would love to do this again when I wasn't so fatigued just to see how many rounds I could smash out.
Overall I was really happy with the day. I finished in 7th place right where I started the day. I had no expectations and was just glad to get through all the WODs - some better than others. I did things I had never done before, I pushed my body to places it probably has never been and I survived 8 wods in 2 days - competition level as well. It's quite a way to see my progress as well over the 11 months I've been doing crossfit. In my mind I don't always see how far I've come or where I'm even at - it's still skewed by the mental image that I had of myself for so long so to finish what I did and to see the photos of who I am now are often still quite surprising.
Next up.. Primal Pairs...
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